FUCK CANCER

It can happen to anyone, when they least expect it. 
I was breastfeeding my daughter when I found the lump. 
Fast forward a few weeks and I had completely weaned her and began treatment for triple negative breast cancer effecting my right breast. 
From the very beginning I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be doing reconstruction. The craziest part is, it’s barely an option. From the very first appointment it was suggested because of my age and my husband preference that I undergo (many more) surgeries for implants & reconstruction
“A free boob job” I’d hear from acquaintances, and folks online.. . The common misconception is that it’s like any other breast augmentation. It’s not. It’s anywhere from 2-5 surgeries - and that’s without complications. much more pain, many more appointments, stretching the skin, drains, going under anesthetic...
There is nothing free about it. 
I chose to have a double mastectomy. Perhaps it was for balance, or the left was guilty by association. It just felt right to me. That’s all that matters. 
It’s my body- it’s my choice. 
I chose to stay flat. I knew when I was all done chemo, I’d just want to play with my kids. I wanted to get back to LIFE as soon as possible. 
Exploring, adventuring, and making memories. 
Breasts don’t make me feminine+ sexual+desirable. 
That is a state of mind. I love this body, I am grateful to have this vessel to keep me here. 
Alive. 

- Holly Shields